The Ryan Heise Collection

burningschoolhouse:

He’s ready for adventures!

This is stupid. No dog has a gait like the one this dog was drawn with. That dog, from a pure physics standpoint, is not walking. Am I supposed to believe it has some degenerative bone disease that is ravaging its poor limbs, stealing its ability to walk properly, yet it’s still good natured enough to be dressed in a bunch of ridiculous steam punk bullshit? Nope. this dog would be ripping off faces as it bears down on a certain, slow, cruel death.

So no, I will not ride your nightmare corgi with fucked up legs, but I will show you a diagram I found using a simple-yet-elegant Google search.

It’s also part of a great article about how people are shitty at drawing the gaits of animals. Guess what? It’s about you.

Do you want to know what else is stupid? I’ll tell you. This dog appears to be smiling, as if it’s proud to be dressed like Cory Doctorow off to pilot a dirigible in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. It isn’t proud, because dogs don’t have any understanding of the concept of proud. Or any human emotions, for that matter. You might think they do, you might say, “Oh! But my dog knows when I’m happy or sad!” It might, but it doesn’t comprehend what those mean, it’s just reacting to learned cues. You’re projecting on your dog that it experiences human emotions. It doesn’t. Here. You need to listen to this amazing three-hour-long CBC Ideas documentary, Dogs Themselves. It will clear up a lot of the misconceptions you have about dogs, how they possibly perceive the world, and how we, as a culture, have a supremely fucked up understanding of their existence.

I hope this helps, and that your future dog drawings take these realities into consideration.

Regards,

R A Heise, Dog Scientist, Dog Art Critic

PS - Why would you even put a saddle on a corgi? Though they are one of the healthiest breeds of dog on the planet, their elongated bodies make them susceptible to intervertebral disc disease. You’re just expediting this serious problem!

(Source: thefrogman)